He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Actions speak louder than pants.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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