Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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