Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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