My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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