You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize