I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
