like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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