You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
