at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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