Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
