R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
