I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
