you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Even my vagina gasped.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
