i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
