Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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