i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the condom got lost in my hair
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
