Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize