just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
