marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
