So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
