hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
