The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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