Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
