hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
