That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
