why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
