there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i out mim tonsoeep
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