The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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