He managed to light the Jello on fire...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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