evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
