So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize