Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i dont even know how to be here
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌ðŸ»ï¸
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