I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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