When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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