What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize