Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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