just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
