as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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