I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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