he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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