Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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