I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
