It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
