Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
