True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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