that's an acceptable place to lick
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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