ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
