North Korea, Best Korea!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How does one acquire holy water?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
