We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
