i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
