just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it's like iHOP with fire
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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