Ambien. No doubt about it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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