I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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