i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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