3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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