You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
