New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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