first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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