But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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