I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
