lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
