If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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