Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
