The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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