she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
