dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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