By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
