She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
